Saturday, October 24, 2009

Good Morning: For those of you who might be unfamiliar with my vital statistics, suffice to say that today has been a long time coming. For the rest of you, I have officially crossed the line; I will be, henceforth, a curdmudgeon, fogie, old fool or whatever it is you're calling men who are the over 59 in your neck of the woods. I share a birthday with some notable folks including Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso (can you imagine what his fucking driver's license must have looked like?!). There are others, including--but not limited to--Georges Bizet, French composer; John Heisman, American football coach; Richard E. Byrd, American explorer; Minnie Pearl, American comedienne and singer; Klaus Barbie, Nazi war criminal; Billy Barty, American actor; Marion Ross, American actress (Richie Cunningham's mom); Bobby Knight, American basketball coach; James Carville, American political operative; Mike Eruzione, American hockey player; Nancy Cartwright, American voice actress (the voice of Bart Simpson); Pedro Martínez, Dominican Major League Baseball player;Midori, Japanese violinist. Now then, with the exception of Klaus B., Bobby Fucking Knight and James Carville, that's a pretty good group. I thought of the accomplishments and achievements of that group of people and thought I could best express my feeling about turning 60 this a.m. by quoting one of them. For those of you who think that just by getting old I will be forced to grow up--"Eat my shorts!". I'm going to boogie till I party and puke like it's 1999.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

For your edification, a recently discovered fragment from Genesis. Mr. Snake: "Honey, I'm home!" Mrs. Snake: "Oh, good, dinner's nearly ready; I just have to constrict a couple of more voles. How was your day?" Mr. Snake: "Oh, you know, same ol', same ol'. I slithered around in the garden for a while, curdled the cow's milk, scared the poop out of Eve--that kind of stuff. Oh, btw, if you haven't already done those voles, hold off. I had a late rat and I'm not terribly hungry." Mrs. Snake: "Oh, that's alright honey, we'll just have them for breakfast (if you don't mange them during the "Survivor--The Neolitihic Dinosaur Era" marathon, tonight). Say, did you take a meeting with the creator and straighten out that whole talking thing?" Mr. Snake: "Yeah, that was a waste of time. He says that it's just not part of the gig. It was a "one time" event, he got what he needed and we get the shit end of the stick. He says that although the downside is that we are feared, reviled and extirpated by those idiot Two Leggers--and have no way to explain what happended-- that there is an upside. We'll never have to tithe OR pay taxes. He thought his little joke was pretty hilarious, what a prick! I just wish I had hands for long enough to flip him off, the asshole!" Mrs. Snake: "Oh, honey, don't do that to yourself; YWHW kicks your ass around enough as it is (it's just an expression--snakes don't have asses). Hey, how about I fix you a nice V&A (Venom and Antivenon), light on teh "A", you kick back and watch some of those cobra/mongoose pornos and we just kick back and twine our brains out? The voles aren't going anywhere."

Monday, October 12, 2009

You can please some of the people all of the time...

This post was written in reply to something someone said over at ScienceBlogs re: the Nobel Peace Prize. The general public seems ambivalent about Mr. Obama's having been awarded the prize and the GOP is of course making hay out of it. I am just weary of it all: Nomen Nescio: The nature of the Democratic Party has always been to fracture into a lot of different, competing groups. The nature of the GOP (at least in the last 40 years) has been to place party unity above principle, integrity and honor. that "nature" has proven to be a game winner, if winning elections is all that one cares about. I accept your criticisms of Obama and the dems as valid. I'm an independent and always have been. I'm left on social issues and centrist on most other stuff. I don't vote democratic tickets because I like them. I vote them because I perceive them to be the party that will do the least damage to my country. I know a number of republicans who told me that voting for Obama would not change anything. I told them they were wrong, because, I said, if Obama got elected my nation would die more slowly. Most of them laughed at my joke; I wasn't kidding. There is a shitload of anger (rage, actually) in a lot of peoples' hearts these days. People who don't know a fucking thing about the process of governance talk openly about killing the man they say is ruining the USA. What would be funny, if it wasn't so tragic is that they are being played like fiddles by the reichwing and the people who stand to profit most by the continued divisiveness. We expect Mr. Obama to be someone who is different from his predecessors, someone who is better than other politicians. We are disappointed that he is not--and we should be. That is OUR nature, to be disappointed when promises are not kept, when we feel we have been lied to and played for fools. Perhaps our disappointment will be fleeting, perhaps it will be profound. Maybe Mr. Obama will suddenly make a momentous change, as did Mr. DeKlerk upon becoming the leader of South Africa. Who knows? Not me, certainly. All I can do is all I can. I will continue to believe that there is purpose in this presidency, even though I don't understand what that purpose might be. I do wish Martin Luther King, Jr. was here to help, to lend his counsel. I won't be around twenty years from now (miracles of modern science notwithstanding) but I'd like to think my country will be. Is that an odd notion for someone who doesn't open his mail because it might hold bills?